So at Tuesdays group I had a very powerful share about my mom and I haven't been able to think about much else. So I started composing a blog about her and us, and I just can't get it right. Long and short of it is that she's overcome a lot and I am proud of her.
At the beginning I was attached to the bottom of my mother's dress - she couldn't leave the house without me, I was her constant companion everywhere. Of course, I went through that teen angst/angry at everyone and everything phase where I listened to the melanchoy Oasis album, "What's The Story Morning Glory" over and over again - I now go running to it! I really never came out of that phase and never reconnected to my mother. But, she was never the warm, fuzzy type to begin with..when we were younger she was emotionally unavailable.
But I'm at a loss for how to reconnect with her. I really need to put a lot of effort into it and stop dragging my feet. Not that I'm with child or anything, but the maternal desire has kicked in and in thinking about when I have children (yes, there will be more than 1)and the relationship I want with them - I can't help thinking about my strained relations with parents and I want to repair it. Seems so daunting to say it - but that's where I'm at!