Sunday, June 12, 2011

Let's talk about Ex -

So, I've been in this similar situation before. My first ex, Frank, was the be all end all. It was my first time being in love, and it was "crazy" in love - or I was. How do you handle such a strong emotion when you've never encountered it before, not well believe me.

One day while I was living in Manhattan, near NYU I decided to go for a run on the West Side boardwalk. I ran from about Houston to Battery Park, its during a work day so its mostly empty. A guy on skates coming towards the opposite direction smiles and says hello. I say hello back, maybe I didn't have my headphones that day or maybe he just had this sweet, cherubic face and good demeanor/aura about him. I get to the end of the path and turn around to run back home. He passes me again but this time stops me and introduces himself as Shaun. He talks to me about my exercise routine and what is my goal, have I ever thought of a personal trainer, I don't even think I knew what that was, I was so green at the time.

We end up going to the gym where he's a trainer, its a purely personal training gym. He takes me on a tour, we talk about my goals and he can help me get there, he suggests I come back in a couple days and the first session is complimentary. Ok, I think, So I walk home, think it over and decide to do the free trial - see him again in ca couple of days and sign up. Shaun and I develop this great bond while he trained me, we would get involved in these deep conversations....at the tender age of 20 or 21, I didn't know who I was. Just a small girl from Long Island, now on the huge Island of Manhattan. I didn't have much confidence - it was rough. He gave me this book, total self confidence, I look to the left of my bed and its right on my lampstand - I've been feeling a little lacking lately.

So while Shaun trained me he had introduced me to another trainer, Frank, that first meeting he gave me a look I can't describe it, maybe a look of curiosity. Well, Shaun has a falling out witht he gym owner, there was some shadiness about not getting paid on time, etc. But that meant I had no trainer.so I asked Frank if he'd train me, he was the only 1 I knew. At some point during all this, I decide to move back hom to Long Island.

So, Frank and I begin training together and its fine, we talk, purely working out and thats it. The gym moves to another location, Chelsea. Maybe it was the atmosphere or something, but his touch starts to change. When he's stretching me, holds my waist in place to isolate my glute muscles and work them harder. Everything changed, and most people take this for granted, the biggest sex organ is the skin (yes, its the brain/mind too) - but its easier to caress skin than the brain, no?. And he was all over my skin, every time we worked out. So, the chemistry and circumstances caused our relationship to evolve beyond trainer/trainee.

We started flirting, talking on the phone for hours on end (I remember sleeping only a few hours most nights bc we talked well into the next morning). At first, I thought his voice was so Brooklyn (rough, unrefined, semi-italian wannabe mafia), very true to the borough - words like "A.O" and "figettaboudit", not those specific words but similar ones, came to life. My love of prim and proper english gave way to loving the melody contained in that distinct Brooklyn accent.

Conversation is very powerful, once you enjoy someone's speech and their ideas - its over because words are so powerful, I mean so powerful. Getting to know one another was truly exciting, unearthing our love of fasion and style, we're both very visual and specific as to dress - Wasn't too long before we decide to go forward and begin a relationship. Oh, they were such innocent times  - filled with unbridled passionate ideas, ideals.

We fell in love, we had found our passionate counterparts in one another. I didn't censor myself at all, I just felt so free with every raw emotion that I could share everything and anything I was feeling! I went with my emotions wherever they took me, I didn't censor myself (hey, I was a young girl, this was my first time in love, gimme a break). It was amazing, I've never felt so free before. But, such a thing was not meant to last. (Matrix 2 quote).

This story is too long for 1 entry. I shall finish it sometime today, but I need to go for my run in Central Park. Note - I skipped running in CP, sorry, this brought up old emotions and I had an indulging day!

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